


Searching For You

by Serade



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Hand Jobs, Leaving, Love Confessions, M/M, Obsessive Love, Oral Sex, Possessive Behavior, Power Imbalance, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:53:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24686431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serade/pseuds/Serade
Summary: While it hurt to abandon Fairy Tail, his longing was far more painful. Laxus had been the first and only person to ever cause Bickslow to feel complete. It hurt so much to lose that. He couldn't stand it!
Relationships: Bickslow/Laxus Dreyar
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Searching For You

Freed and Evergreen really worried about their friend. When Laxus was excommunicated, they had thought about leaving as well. Laxus had more or less ordered them to stay, though. Even through he hadn't said it explicitly, they were sure it meant Laxus would be back one day. Freed had been thinking about leaving either way in order to punish himself for his actions, but Makarov changed his mind. Freed eventually found a way to deal with his guilt, but even weeks after Laxus’s departure, Bickslow kept talking about leaving. No matter how often they reassured him that it would be okay, that time would heal all wounds, that Laxus would be back, Bickslow didn't drop the issue. Their constant arguments didn't go past the rest of the guild, but since they had only recently begun talking to the others, no one felt comfortable interfering when their voices raised in irritation.

“Why don't you speak with Master? I am sure he will find a better way you can atone”, Freed tried again.

How many times did he have to say it before the suborn soul mage would understand? It was the right thing to do. Bickslow could be so thick!

“Its not about that!”, Bickslow hissed in irritation.

“What then?”, Evergreen asked.

She tried to stay calm, to reason with Freed and Bickslow and make sure they didn't claw each other’s eyes out. Herself, Evergreen had great respect for Laxus, but she was well aware that his absence was much harder on her team mates than it was on her.

“I just want to be with Laxus, alright? Is that so wrong?”, Bickslow finally admitted.

“You do know he will be back, don't you?”, Evergreen asked softly.

“But when?”, Bickslow returned the question.

While his pose and voice were mostly calm, both Evergreen and Freed could tell that he was shaken. Bickslow was like an open book, if you knew how to read it. His puppets always mimicked his feelings. Right now they were agitated, shifting irregularly and hovering close to their master.

“I don't know. But he will be. We have to be patient”, Freed offered.

Bickslow wouldn't have it. He stood and braced on the table as he grumbled, “Patient? That's it? It could be years! There is no way I can...”

Bickslow stopped himself and bit together, shaking his head.

“I'm leaving”, he determined.

He stepped back from his team and turned to Makarov. The elder was sitting on the bar as usual, watching their quarrel from afar. It was obvious this troubled Makarov as well, but no matter how much Bickslow respected Makarov, how much he had to be grateful for, he had made up his mind. He was going, and that was final.

“I'm leaving Fairy Tail”, he stated clearly.

Sticking his tongue out, he erased the mark before turning around and leaving the now dead quiet hall. While it hurt to abandon Fairy Tail, his longing was far more painful. There was no way he could be alone that long. Sure, Evergreen and Freed were good friends, but they simply could not fill the void in his chest. Laxus had been the first and only person to ever do that, to ever cause Bickslow to feel complete. It hurt so much to lose that. He couldn't stand it!

Bickslow hurried home and packed. He knew the others would come looking soon and he wanted to be gone before they did. He didn't need another argument. He didn’t want to see their disappointed expressions. He was leaving. There was no talking him out of it.

Grabbing only the necessities, he headed out. Soon, he was leaving Magnolia Town behind. He had no idea where Laxus was, only that he had left to the north. It was enough to get started. Sooner or later, he would be able to track Laxus down. The lighting mage was quite well known. People were bound to take notice of the path he took. Bickslow scoured for placed where he had passed by.

There were several easy pointers. Inns with hot spring were a perfect spot for the dragon slayer to relax and rest, especially the secluded ones. Only bars that served a good whiskey would have the man as guest. When asking around, old people sitting outside their home or in cafés were always good. They saw everything and loved to chat. In the countryside, the farmers would notice when someone passed their fields. Sudden horizontal lighting was also a pretty unusual sight. People remembered it for weeks or even months. They were able to tell Bickslow exactly which day and time, and in what direction.

Laxus had covered quite a distance. He probably wanted to get away from it all, moving in such a straight line toward the border of Bosco. Had Laxus really left the country? That meant he really didn't intend to return any time soon. Pressing on, Bickslow found that he was catching up with his target. It seemed Laxus wasn't as well-versed in the cultures of their neighbouring countries and stood out like a sore thumb. The locals were a great help, even coming up to Bickslow without him asking.

“Oh? Another Fioran?”, they would say.

Laxus sure left and impression wherever he went. Finally reaching the border of Stella, Bickslow found the dragon slayer. His broad from was dressed in a crude cloak and his stride was slow. He had recovered nicely from his wounds by now. Swallowing back the impulse to call and run, Bickslow steeled himself and took a deep breath before walking up to Laxus. When the orange eyes found him, they widened in surprise.

“Bickslow? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I'm looking for you of course”, Bickslow answered happily.

“Why?” Laxus questioned, a deep frown wrinkling his forehead.

“Aren't you happy to see me?”, Bickslow asked.

His elation was a little dampened by Laxus’s reaction. He had thought Laxus would be at least a little glad.

“I told you to stay”,Laxus said firmly.

Bickslow bit his lower lip. He knew he had disobeyed, but it was just not bearable to him any more.

“I couldn't”, he almost whispered in answer.

“What do you mean?”, the inevitable question came.

“I missed you”, he shrugged.

Laxus sighed. It was obvious to that Bickslow was keeping something form him, but it was equally obvious that he wasn’t going to spill his secret right here and now. Laxus came up to his friend and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Lets grab something to eat for now, shall we?”

Bickslow face lit up again. He nodded in agreement and fell into step beside Laxus. He glanced at Laxus all the while they walked. Laxus looked solemn. He had been stern for years, but Bickslow had never seen him quite so wilfully composed. He wondered what was going on in that troubled mind of his. He knew he wasn’t allowed to poke around, though, so he kept his magic under wraps.

Sitting down in the first best inn along the road, they had lunch. Bickslow asked all about Laxus’s travel so far, firmly avoiding any questions in turn. Laxus didn’t really know what to tell Bickslow. He was merely looking around, exploring the world anew though opened eyes. It was magnificent, but also incredibly mundane. That he was training so he could return with honour was something he kept to himself. He didn’t want to instil false hope, not in Bickslow and maybe even more so not in himself.

Bickslow’s dodgy answers bothered Laxus, but while they ate he noticed something that really worried him. As soon as they were done, he led Bickslow out into the woods beyond the town again before he stopped to make a scene. It could not be. He did not want it to be true. Why would Bickslow…? He turned to his friend with a firm expression. Bickslow tilted his head to the side ever so little. Since no one could see him raise an eyebrow, this gesture had become his equivalent.

“Show me your tongue”, Laxus demanded.

Bickslow tensed up. He knew all too well that Laxus wouldn't approve of his decision. Staying silent, he just looked back at Laxus. If Laxus asked, he already knew. There was no need to prove him right. It greatly surprised Bickslow when Laxus took a hold his chin in an almost painful grip.

“Show me”, the demand was repeated.

Laxus’s hold was so firm, it was bound to leave red marks.

“Let go of me”, Bickslow hissed back between clenched teeth.

Instead of letting go, Laxus shoved him backwards. For a moment, Bickslow was convinced he would fall, but a tree stopped him. Backed up against the thick trunk, he raised his hands to Laxus’s shoulders to hold him off. His heart lurched uncomfortably when Laxus grabbed a hold of his arms and pinned him against the bark.

“Bickslow! Show me!”, Laxus insisted angrily.

When Bickslow kept his quiet, he knew his suspicion was correct.

“You left the guild”, he stated rather than asked.

Placing his hands on either side of Bickslow’s head instead, he sighed dejected. “Why? Why would you do that?”

Bickslow still didn’t speak. He merely hung his head. Laxus took a hold of the metal mask and pushed if out of Bickslow's face. His eyes were moist, his expression making it clear he was just as close to tears as Laxus felt. Laxus just couldn't make sense of it. What would bring Bickslow to do this? What the fuck happened?

“Why?”, he asked again, asked with sadness evident in his voice.

When Bickslow grabbed a hold of his cloak and pulled him forward, their lips met for the first time. Bickslow slung his arms around Laxus’s neck, holding him tight as he finally did what he had wanted to for so long. Laxus kissed back. Be it conscious or mere instinct, it made Bickslow’s heart give a leap. When he pulled back, he could see the orange eyes wide in surprise and bewilderment again. Bickslow exhaled hard. He had done it now, so he might as well say it too.

“I never want to be without you. I love you.”

“You have to go back”, Laxus mumbled.

“What?”

Bickslow’s chest constricted, all air leaving his lungs. Laxus reached up and rested the tip of his finger against his lip. His eyes were focused on Bickslow’s lips as he traced over the skin. Finally, he balled his hand into a fist instead.

“I need you to be in Magnolia”, he continued in a mumble.

Bickslow swallowed hard. He could feel his heart trying to escape his chest, to fold in on itself in an effort to vanish instead of going through this anguish. His puppets huddled together closely while he tried with all his might not to start crying now. That would be but a sign of weakness, something Laxus had no patience for. Closing his eyes, Bickslow could feel his entire being tremble.

A warm hand came to his chin and he flinched, awaiting the inevitable beating for his disobedience, his insolence. Who did he think he was to demand anything of this sort from Laxus Dreyar? He had no right. He had crossed every line. Of what use could he possibly be if he didn’t even know how to stay the fuck put when Laxus explicitly told him to?

When a soft moist touch met his lips, his eyes snapped open in shock. Laxus's face was so close to his own. The orange eyes were closed while Laxus kissed him. The warm hand travelled down Bickslow’s neck and then up to tug his hood down. Laxus trailed his fingers through the messy black and blue hair. Bickslow stood rooted. He had no idea what to do with this. He just kept still while Laxus pressed himself closer and closer against his body. The other hand came up to cup Bickslow’s face before Laxus finally pulled back and reopened his eyes. There was a softness, a care in them the likes of which Bickslow had never seen before.

“Don't cry, Stupid”, Laxus teased.

“I'm not”, Bickslow defended more out of reflex than anything else.

Of course he was crying. He was so scared to loose everything, everything he had ever had. Laxus leaned in anew and again that soft sensation met Bickslow’s mouth. Closing his eyes in turn, he felt Laxus lick over his lips. Parting them, he let Laxus explore, taste him out and take control of him in a way he had never done before. Laxus's kiss was as fierce as his nature, possessive and demanding. The intensity of it all left Bickslow weak kneed. He had to hold himself up against the trunk of the large tree. Warm hands found the hem of his pullover, tugging it up and trailing under it to caress his skin.

Pulling back in new surprise, he managed a bewildered, “Laxus?”

“Shh. Not now”, Laxus whispered against his ear.

The hot breath on his skin sent a shiver down Bickslow’s spine. Never had he been quite this close to his thunder god. Never had he imagined the day would actually come when Laxus touched him this tenderly. Indulging in the feeling, he became putty in Laxus’s hands.

Laxus urged a leg between his, and Bickslow groaned. He clawed at the bark of the large tree offering him stability. Laxus manhandled him out of his pullover and he felt the scratchy surface all over his back. He couldn't care less. Laxus was touching him. Laxus was actually touching him. The strong hands ran down his sides and Laxus nudged his head to the side. Licking along his neck, Laxus sent a shiver down his spine. Bickslow whined and arched toward the warmth. When Laxus stepped back, he nearly tumbled over.

“Get down.”

Without a thought, Bickslow fell to his knees. Laxus opened his trousers and entwined a hand in Bickslow’s hair. Bickslow’s mind was fuzzy with adrenaline. He opened his mouth and welcomed the sensation of Laxus’s cock sliding over his tongue. Pressing his nose against the patch of blond hair at the root, he groaned. It was so damn arousing to be allowed to do this, to have Laxus. Glancing up, he saw Laxus clench his jaw.

He followed every nudge and pull, bobbing his head and sucking Laxus off best he knew how. Hooking his fingers into the cloth trousers, he eased them down further and cradled Laxus’s scrotum. The moan he got in response caused him to whine in turn. He was painfully hard, but he wouldn’t abandon his task to reach down. Tracing one finger behind Laxus’s balls, he was delighted at the breathy reaction. It was a disappointment when Laxus urged him back and the erection left his reach.

Laxus pushed him down on the mossy ground and tugged at his clothes. As soon as his dick was free as well, Laxus straddled him and took him in hand. Bickslow gasped, reaching up to get a hold of something, of Laxus. Laxus entwined their fingers and pinned his arm down against the ground. The other, Laxus took and led down to his cock. Wrapping his fingers around it and stroking, Bickslow mimicked whatever Laxus did. He gave a firm grip and moved fast all the while he was running toward his own climax at Laxus’s hand.

  
  


Lying in the shade of the trees in the aftermath, Bickslow heard the birds chirping and the wind rustling through the leaves. Laxus was washing his hands in a nearby stream. Bickslow closed his eyes and sighed in delight. He felt so tranquil. For the first time in weeks, life seemed good. The soft cloth of his pullover soothed the angry scratches on his back. He was so relaxed, he nearly fell asleep.

When Laxus returned, he found Bickslow had closed his eyes and was breathing evenly. Taking his bag, Laxus made for the edge of the clearing with soft steps, but before he could vanish, Bickslow jumped to his feet.

“Laxus? Where are you going?”

Laxus sighed. Of course he wouldn't manage to sneak away. Sneaking had always been Bickslow’s speciality. Cursing the vigilant puppets, he turned back to Bickslow and shook his head.

Bickslow balled his hands into fists. “Laxus, please.”

“Bickslow, go back.”

“I want to stay with you”, Bickslow requested.

“No. I need to know that you will be there when I return to Fairy Tail.”

“Why?”

Laxus swallowed hard. He hesitated for a moment, but finally steeled himself and spoke the scariest words he knew.

“Because I love you.”

Bickslow stared back at him wide eyed. “You do?”

“Obviously. You are part of my family. I need you to be there when I return. You can’t come with me. I have to do this my way. You get that, right? You can’t just come after me like this. I told you to stay put.”

Bickslow nodded. “I'm sorry.”

Laxus shook his head. He came close, causing Bickslow to lean back against the nearest tree. Trapped like this, Bickslow watched him attentively.

“Go home and know that when I return, I will tie you to my bed and make you beg for me. When I am done with you, you won't be able to get back up on your own.”

“You'll get me hard again”, Bickslow jested.

Laxus continued in the same serious tone. “Think of me. Every lonely night, every time you jerk off, think of me and what I will do to you when you see me again. You’re mine now.”

“Laxus…”

“Wait for me”, Laxus demanded.

“As long as it takes”, Bickslow swore.

“Go now.”

Bickslow leaned in and pressed one more kiss to Laxus’s lips. He didn’t want to end it. Longing burned in his chest. Laxus broke the kiss far too early and Bickslow took a deep breath. Meeting the orange eyes, there was nothing more he could possibly say. He took his bag and walked out of the clearing. When he looked back over his shoulder, Laxus was gone.

  
  



End file.
